Goblin goldfish inhabit decorative ponds near abandoned castles and possess an unhealthy obsession with treasure. They spend entire afternoons collecting shiny bottle caps and declaring themselves monarchs. Most reigns last roughly fifteen minutes.

Their royal courts consist mainly of frogs pretending to care. Every spring, the goldfish host extravagant underwater coronations attended by exactly three snails. Historians agree the hats are spectacular.

Goblin goldfish carefully track noble bloodlines, most of which were invented moments before being announced. Family trees regularly loop back on themselves, include several ducks, and occasionally list decorative statues as former rulers.

The annual Royal Float Parade attracts visitors from neighboring ponds. The event usually concludes when somebody mistakes a floating leaf for a rival kingdom and declares war.