Raccoons operate a secret nighttime banking system based entirely on shiny objects. Deposits may include bottle caps, lost earrings, glitter-covered pebbles, and occasionally someone's car keys. Interest rates fluctuate according to moon phase and snack availability.
Financial audits are notoriously difficult, mostly because the auditors are also raccoons. Every fiscal quarter concludes with a ceremonial trash-can feast. Economic experts refuse to comment.
Customers may open savings accounts, checking accounts, and premium sparkle accounts. Premium clients receive personalized bottle-cap statements delivered by courier possums wearing tiny neckties.
The institution briefly experimented with cryptocurrency before realizing every raccoon involved preferred physical shiny objects. The project was abandoned in favor of a more reliable treasure-under-the-porch standard.
A bronze statue of the bank's founder stands in the lobby, although historians are fairly certain it is simply a decorative trash can.
